Satirical fiction
The algorithm recommends a soup just like you
You looked at a carrot. The system inferred a life plan.
It started with a soup recipe viewed one Sunday. The recommendation engine treated it as a lasting commitment. Monday: soup. Tuesday: ten life-changing soups. Wednesday: why your family still fails to understand your passion for soup.
The user clicked a cake for variety. The AI offered cake soup. Closing the page indicated hesitation, so it advertised a course: “Embrace your liquid personality in five steps.”
The family listed their tastes to explain the problem. The program preferred counting clicks: those fitted into a table. The person eating had contradictions, visitors and sometimes just wanted pasta.
The following Sunday nobody photographed lunch. The engine was puzzled. Eventually it recommended “Silence, served as a velouté”. The soup, which had asked for none of this, was advised not to take the story personally.
